Post by AUBREY CAMILLA SCIARRA on Nov 7, 2017 16:16:04 GMT 8
A year could bring about a lot of change, but Aubrey had not expected it to bring this much. It hadn't even been a year since that fateful summer night that Kayden took her out against everyone's suggestion. Of course she had blamed herself for the longest time, she had begged for him to let her finally come along, let her finally play a part in the family secret, let her finally prove herself as his only true competition in the family, prove herself to be his equal in due time. Except nothing went to plan, and for that she too blamed herself - that was, until everything changed.
She had been there when it happened - in many ways she wasn't actually upset about that. Blake had turned the family on itself, he had used them all as pawns, and he had risked their lives to try and save his own. maybe Kayden had forgiven Dante enough for what he had done to sit down and work with him but Aubrey....well she had almost lost her life that night because of Dante - she was shaken in so many ways and now to find out this? Dante had been their cousin, their brother, their trainer - and he was their betrayer. Aubrey could not forgive or forget so easily, not when she had personally suffered.
For so long she had been her brother's shadow following and idolizing. These days though the girl of green and silver sat among those dressed in crimson and gold. She'd been seeking his comfort more since she'd opened up at the start of the year. So many things she had deemed annoying before she was going to enjoy, and miss even when it seemed absent in her life. In some ways she had to cruse herself as May was fast approaching which meant his graduation was upon them. The day had seemed so distant but now she realize how much she had wasted and for what? To be lied to by so many people she had trusted.
The wound was fresh for her though and when she found out the whole of the truth it had felt like reopening a scar. It had barely been a month - maybe in some ways she was mature but she was in no way mature enough to be over the betrayal her family members had committed. Even Kayden was guilty having tried to cover Dante's crimes from her. What right did he have to think he knew what was best for her? She deserved the truth - no matter what. It was hard to trust anyone these days...but she trusted him.
He had always been there for her before her brother, she was his priority...something she had overlooked time and time and time again. Would he ever forgive her for her childish nature? Even still it was hard not to throw her little tantrums and fits - her brother had broken her heart though...in a way she had never thought he would. Ernest had been there to collect her though, and help her piece herself back, she would be stronger now - she might have broken but she was not shattered.
Everything had happened so fast though. Kayden was in charge now, actually in charge. Dante was the Panos heir, a spy, and a bastard in every way she could use the word - a traitor no matter how Kayden claimed her had redeemed himself. The two were working together, for the better of everyone or something. One of those famous fits had been thrown when the matter was being explained. She really couldn't have it - any of it.
The thoughts screamed in her head constantly, maybe that was why she asked if they could study together outside. Luckily the weather was permitting...for now, this was Scotland in the spring after all. Of course she knew she shouldn't have been distracting him like this, his tests were far more important than her's and no doubt he actually wanted to do some actual revising - she was selfish though and she always had been. She needed him these days, a need that felt strange to accept. Of course settled into his strong arms it was hard not to feel - right.
Her mind was quieter around him. Thoughts of the past month seemed further away as thoughts of the future month seemed far more alarming. It would be two more school years before she could spend proper time with him again. Yes it was easy to see why she felt guilty looking back at her past treatment of him. She'd never actually given much thought to the day he would part from her...now she understood it was going to be a real day.
The still of the stone garden helped her to forget they were still at school, for a moment she could pretend it was just them. It was nice to escape the walls and flood of students. Everyone was packed into the best study corners trying to prepare. But here they sat in what sun could make it through the passing clouds, revising together - well as best as he could with her seated against him.
Yes, a year could change a lot - as well as a matter of months. No longer did she shy away from his attention and affection, sometimes she was even more than willing to flaunt it. Maybe it had started as a way to anger her brother but these days the affection she craved was more subtle; his arms were the place she felt safest though. She didn't brother correcting anyone when they labeled her relationship with him...though the proper term was debatable she reckoned the point was, they were a relationship and she wasn't fighting it anymore.
Even though he was bringing a feeling of peace to her it was difficult for Aubrey to focus on the text book in hand. It wasn't the material that was bring her trouble it was just everything. At least it felt like everything. It was selfish to bother him, this was valuable study time for him and she already was compromising the actual use of study time. "Ernest....can, can we stop for a moment - to talk?" There was shame or maybe embarrassment in her tone as she asked. It was selfish to take from this time, but what other time would they have to talk of what she wanted?
In many ways she had already made up her mind on what she wanted. Some would call it running away, and it wasn't as if she could honestly call them wrong. There was more too it though, it was something she wanted as well. It was difficult to figure out how to voice it all though, and ask what she wanted. Which was silly in so many ways. He had always asked her to speak her mind to him - tell him what she was thinking and what she wanted. So why could she not push the words past her teeth?
She didn't exactly way for a proper go ahead before she just went for it, would he actually tell her he didn't have time for her to talk? Especially after the events in the month prior? "Its just, my birthday it'll be in July which you know - and since it's my sixteenth birthday it'll be important...its just I know what I want, but I want it before my birthday...it'd be for you too, and I think you'd like it. Wouldn't matter if anyone else liked it but you'd have too, otherwise it'd be pointless..."
She was shying away from the point. It wasn't easy to bring up, not for someone like her at least. Commitment had been terrifying to her after all. Admitting she needed him had been a horrifying experience, of course things got easier after but the act of it was simply not something she cared to repeat. "What I'm trying to say, or ask, its just...I think regarding this summer, I just feel like I want to spend it with you...entirely." It was a lot to admit, for her. Maybe she was ready to step back from the hunter world, there were far more politics than she cared for. Maybe she was just ready to not be a Sciarra anymore.
ERNEST FALCON HOLMES | *leaves this here* I rambled so much I am sorry you do not need to match this! just missed these two and well aubrey had some things to say 
